I Only Do It To Make You Mad
by laurzz
Summary: DannyLindsayLucy. Just a fluffy family oneshot. "Her little family really did drive her crazy, even made her mad at times. But at the end of every day, she wouldn’t change them for the world."


**A/N: Hey all. I'm currently going through my DannyLindsay story files on my laptop, and found this one, finished but not posted; which simply won't do. So here we go :). It was just a little something I thought of about a month ago now and it's just a silly little idea, but I thought it was cute nonetheless. **

**P.s. No spoilers or anything! :D **

**Hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

Lucy Messer sighed as she stabbed her fruit punch drink with its straw and flumped on the couch.

"What's the matter, princess?" Danny inquired as he turned in his recliner chair so that he could see Lucy in her little uniform, sat on the couch. "Did you have a bad day at school?"

Six-year-old Lucy growled at him before crossing her legs on the couch and sticking the straw in her mouth and slurping at the drink.

"Didn't Mommy tell you to change out of your uniform?"

"Daddy!" his little girl cried, "Just leave me alone, k?"

Turning up the volume on the TV to get a reaction, Danny turned his attention back to ESPN as he listened to the current affairs of the sporting world.

"Dad!" Lucy cried. "Dad, turn the stupid TV down."

Smirking, Danny turned. "Sorry, what?"

"Turn the stupid TV down."

Lowering the volume, Danny turned again and looked at his little girl. "What's the matter baby bear? You know you can tell me."

Lucy sighed and she patted the couch next to her. Quickly moving out of his worn and well loved recliner, Danny took up his position on the couch next to Lucy and she shuffled closer to him.

"What happened, baby bear?" Danny asked as he tugged on her honey brown plaited pigtails. "Tell Daddy."

"Remember Jamie Scott? I tolded you about him last week? He's in like... a few grades older than me."

"The kid that wouldn't let you play kick ball last week?"

She nodded in confirmation.

"What happened now?"

"He keeps callin' me 'New York', daddy."

Danny smiled.

"Which makes no sense, 'cause aparted from him, my whole class is from New York, 'cause we live here, right?!"

"Well baby," Danny started as he pulled Lucy onto his lap, "Does he call anyone else 'New York'?"

"Jus' me." She scoffed. "I hate him, Daddy."

"Use your words." He scolded his little girl. He then blinked. It was like Lindsay had taken over his brain for a minute; she was the one always telling them to 'use their words'.

"I don't like him," Lucy sighed. "He wouldn't let me play basketball either today."

"'Cause basketball sucks, sweetheart; it's baseball you wanna play."

"I play that on Sundays though, Daddy. During the week I wanna play with my friends at school."

Danny relented as he pressed a kiss to her temple. "When he calls you New York, does he sound like he's bein' mean 'bout it?"

Lucy thought about it. "He does it to make me mad."

Danny bit his lip. "Wanna hear a story?"

"Dad!" Lucy cried. "I'm too old for stories, 'k?"

"Hear me out, Luce. It's a Mommy and Daddy story. You know how you love Mommy and Daddy stories."

She sighed, "Mmkay, but it better be a good one."

He snorted and wrapped his arms around Lucy as he pulled her onto his lap. "We both know how Mommy is a country girl, right? And how you and I are city kids."

Lucy giggled and nodded as she took a sip of her Hi-C punch. "Nothin' beats the view, right daddy?"

"Exactly." He smirked at how well he'd trained his daughter. "Well, when Mommy and I were younger, I used to call your Mommy 'Montana'."

"Why?" Lucy scoffed. "That's stupid, daddy. She's from Montana. She isn't _called_ Montana."

"I know that, and I used to call her it because it would make her mad."

Lucy took in his words.

"It also gave her a reason to speak to me." Danny added. "Usually it was just her tellin' me off for windin' her up."

"Did it make Mommy mad?"

Danny nodded. "She used to get so frustrated with me. I don't think I could tell you the amount'a times she told me her name was Lindsay Monroe."

"Monroe-Messer," Lucy corrected.

"Well yes, smarty pants." Danny laughed as he ruffled Lucy's hair, "But... before Mommy and I got married, her name was just Monroe. Like Grandma and Grandpa Monroe."

Lucy nodded. "And she stuck your name on the end of hers when you two gotted married?"

"I guess you could put it like that," Danny nodded, quite amused at how bluntly his daughter had put it. "But you're leadin' me off the path here, baby... I used to call Mommy 'Montana' because it'd make her mad, and then she'd talk to me. I wasn't being mean to her; I just wanted a reason for her to talk to me other than about work."

Lucy nodded and furrowed her brow. "So... Jamie is callin' me New York so that I'll get mad with him?"

"Not so much mad, sweetheart... More of a 'if I do this, Lucy might speak to me.'"

Lucy sighed. "But Daddy, it makes me ignore him."

"And does he do it more?"

Lucy nodded.

"When I didn't get a reaction from Mommy, it made me do it more."

"Boys are silly." Lucy huffed as she laid her head on Danny's chest as her daddy pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Why can't you just be... not silly, Daddy? Why is he being mean to me? He only does it to me. Does he hate me or somethin'?"

"Baby, I honestly don't think he's doin' it to be mean to you... I think he's doin' it cause he has a crush on you."

Lucy scoffed and made gagging noises. "EW! Daddy! That's disgusting!"

Silently thanking the Gods at his daughter's reaction, Danny pressed a kiss to her temple. "That's my girl. Don't ever change 'k, Luce?"

"Why would have a crush on me? Daddy... ew! I hate boys, the only thin' they're good for is to show how awesome I am at like baseball and kickball."

"Well, maybe Jamie is impressed at how awesome you are. I mean look at your Mommy. She impressed me with her awesomeness."

"Mommy is awesome, ain't she?" Lucy giggled.

"I think so." Danny nodded. "I think she's made of awesome."

"You're made of awesome too, Daddy." Lucy smiled as she pressed a kiss to Danny's cheek. "HA-HA! Mommy's gonna yell at you, Daddy!"

Sitting back, Danny furrowed his brow. "Why?"

"Cause you have all that ouchy stuff on your face again!"

Running his fingertips over his jaw and cheek, he rolled his eyes. "You gonna rat me out?"

"When she kisses you she's gonna know, silly. I don't gotta rat you out!"

"How do you know that she kisses me?" he teased as his fingers tickled the little girl's belly.

"I live in the same state! Mommy is always kissin' you..." Lucy cried as she desperately tried to squirm away from Danny's tickle attack. She rolled backwards on the couch and hovered on the other side. She held her hands in the shape of a gun and pointed them at Danny. "NYPD! Put 'em where I can see 'em!"

Holding his hands in surrender, Danny smirked as he nudged up off the couch slightly. Lucy looked away for a second, therefore letting her resolve slip. Taking his opportunity, he pounced and held his little girl down on the couch and tickled her sides.

"Dad!" she cried, flailing around. "NO! Gerr'off!"

"Never!" Danny cackled evilly as he teased his daughter.

"Gerr'off or else!"

"Ooh_, or else_... What you gonna do?" he teased his six-year-old.

"This!" she smirked before quickly shifting in her position and kicking Danny in the gut, causing Danny to fly off the couch and land on a heap on the floor. Glancing up and rubbing his offended areas, he glared at his daughter. "Lucy!"

"Hey! Mom taught me how'ta do it!" She cried, holding her arms up in defence, a proud smile displayed across her face.

As if on cue, Lindsay made her way into the room and held her hand up. Lucy jumped up on the couch and high-fived her mother. "It worked!"

"I told you it would," Lindsay smirked as she picked her daughter up and squeezed her. "Works every time for Mommy,"

Still laid askew on the floor, Danny sighed heavily. "A little help here, girls..."

Smirking at her husband laid on the floor, Lindsay tried to take his hand to help Danny up, but promptly let got as giggles overtook her.

"Are you kiddin' me?!" he cried as he sat up and examined his now grazed arm from the coffee table. "Lucy go and get changed outta ya uniform before you rip this skirt. I ain't buyin' you anymore. I'm sick'a shelling out money for those damn skirts everytime you rip one. You do it again, you're goin' in a ripped one, do you understand me young lady?"

She huffed and slid down from the couch and stomped out of the living room, down the hall to her bedroom.

"Get me up." Danny spat at his still laughing wife. "Now."

Complying, she tugged Danny off the floor and he pulled her into a hug. "What you teach her that for?"

"For situations just like that," Lindsay smirked. "Can't let you think you rule the house, can we?"

Danny scoffed as he tickled her sides before taking his seat on the couch again. "For your information, I just had a conversation about boys and I didn't even freak out."

Dramatically gasping, Lindsay held a hand to his head. "Call an ambulance, you're dying."

"Ha-ha." He glared at her. "Very funny, Montana."

"What happened? Is she getting married?"

"Judging by her reaction when I told her Jamie Scott had a crush on her, I'd say we have a least another five years before she's even seeing boys as boys and not as playmates on the baseball field... Or in her daddy's case, a wrestling partner."

"How do you know that kid has a crush on her?"

Danny bit his lip. "You know how his family moved from... one of the Carolinas is it?"

Lindsay nodded.

"He calls her 'New York'. Hand to God. I wanted to freak out, but c'mon... it's the oldest trick in the book. Bless the kid, he's tryin' his hardest to get her to notice him."

"You would know," Lindsay smirked. "Look where it got you."

"Alright, wiseass," Danny scolded as he wrapped his arm around Lindsay as she snuggled into his side. "I mean, personally, I think I coped very well, considering I wanted to enrol her into an all girls school."

"And we know what would have happened there. Mommy over here would have stepped in and kicked your ass."

"I still think I did quite well though dealing with her six-year-old boy drama."

"Only because Lucy nearly gagged at the mere thought of a boy." Lindsay snorted. "Had she been all, 'Dad, can I have the phone, will you take us to see Hannah Montana two,' you would have had a coronary. Either that, or you'd take them and sit between them, with your gun on your lap in view of the kid, so he'd be scared shi-..."

"I have no response to that," Danny scoffed as he pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"You didn't shave!" Lindsay scolded. "... Again! We've been over this, babe."

Padding into the room, Lucy giggled as she flumped down on the floor, resting her back against the couch. Once settled, Lucy turned and glanced at her father over her shoulder, "Told ya, Daddy."

"Smarty pants," he teased as he ruffled her hair.

The three fell into a comfortable silence, watching ESPN before Danny sighed. "It's nice out... Who wants to go to Central park and have a little three-on-three baseball tournament? Loser takes winners to get ice cream after."

"Daddy, I don't got no money." Lucy reminded her father. "I'm six."

"How about you play on both Daddy and Mommy's teams then? You can practice battin'..." Danny suggested. "Not that you need to." He quickly added.

Lucy thought about it. "Does that mean I get ice cream no matter what?"

Both Danny and Lindsay nodded.

"I'm in." She cried as she jumped up. "Let me go get my shoes!" she cried as she raced out of the room in her socked feet.

Watching her skid down the hallway, Lindsay laughed. "You know, sometimes I wonder who she takes after... You or me... She's a mix of my excitement, and your clumsiness."

"I bet you twenty bucks she comes in here with her Cons and a baseball cap turned backwards."

She snorted and then held her hand out and shook Danny's hand. "You're on."

Waiting with baited breath, husband and wife sat in silence as they awaited Lucy's return.

Padding back into the living room, Lucy had her Nikes in one hand and her daisy sunhat in the over.

"Daddy, can you lace 'em up?"

"Where's your cons, Luce?" Danny inquired. "Don't you wanna wear them?"

She scrunched her face up, "I prefer my Nikes, daddy... I look like Mommy in them."

Raising her eyebrows and grinning, Lindsay used Danny's thigh as she pushed herself up off the couch. "Guess I'll get ready then."

Watching her as she left the room, Danny glanced down to his daughter as she thrust her little feet into the equally little tennis shoes.

"How much she pay you to do that?" Danny whispered. "'Cause if you go and get your cons, baby... I'll double it."

Lucy smiled as she lay back on the floor and waved her legs in the air before dropping them on Danny's lap. "Mom said you'd say that..."

"Oh she did, did she?"

Lucy nodded. "Yup. Lace 'em up, Daddy... like you do 'em for baseball practice."

Tying her shoelaces, Danny grumbled. "What else she say to you?"

Lucy shrugged, "I forgot."

"How convenient,"

Snatching her feet off of Danny's lap, Lucy rolled over and ran into the hallway. "Last one's a rotten egg."

"WAIT THERE!" Lindsay bellowed from the bedroom. "I don't wanna hear that door opening, Lucy Messer!"

Freezing, Lucy stopped and turned. "Hurry up then! I wanna go play!"

"Will you just wait?!" Lindsay called back to her inpatient daughter. "You're just like your father."

"Get a wiggle on, Linds... You don't gotta look pretty for the park, sweetheart." Danny teased as he headed into the hallway to get his Converse.

Lindsay appeared in the hallway, her index finger pointed at both Lucy and Danny. "I hear another peep outta either'a ya, and you'll be wishin' you'd never wanted to go play baseball, 'cause I'll whoop both your butts..."

"Whoa," Lucy whispered as Lindsay headed back into the bedroom. "She sounded like you and me, Daddy."

Danny snorted. "Watch this..." he whispered to his daughter. "Montana! C'mon!!!"

Both Lucy and Danny fought their laughter as they heard banging and stomping around in the bedroom.

"I only do it to make her mad, ya'see?" Danny smirked at his daughter.

Lucy smiled as she leant against the wall and sighed, "Chop chop, Mommy!"

"Chop chop?" Lindsay snorted as she appeared from the bedroom. "Where on earth did you get that from?"

"Jamie." Lucy smirked at her father. "He says funny stuff like that all 'da time."

"But we still think he's gross right?" Danny gulped. "He's still just a mean boy, right?"

Lucy shrugged. "I mean if you called Mommy 'Montana', maybe Jamie isn't that-..."

"Who wants ice cream?" Lindsay smiled as she burst through the space between father and daughter. "Last one to the elevator's a rotten egg."

Ripping the door open, Lucy burst out of the apartment and flew down the hallway, leaving her parents to lock up the front door.

"...And there was me thinkin' I had nothin' to worry about. She's gonna marry the kid now... What have I done?!"

"You were a fantastic daddy and gave her a fantastic story so that she can make it make sense in her head. You did exactly what you were supposed to do," Lindsay whispered as she locked her fingers with Danny as she slipped her keys into his back pocket. "Just be proud of yourself at how well you handled it, k?"

He sighed.

"She's not goin' anywhere." Lindsay reminded him. "We've got her for a while yet, alright? You don't have to give her up just yet... Just... prepare yourself for that day where you do walk her down the aisle."

He sighed again and squeezed his wife's hand. "Last one there's a rotten egg!"

He took off without warning, leaving Lindsay in the middle of the hallway. "You infuriate me!" she cried as she chased after him.

"I only do it to make you mad!" he smirked over his shoulder.

"C'mon Montana!" Lucy cried as she jabbed at the elevator button over and over again, as if it would hurry the elevator up.

"It's mommy to you, little girl." Lindsay giggled as she jogged down the hallway.

Her little family really did drive her crazy, even made her mad at times.

But at the end of every day, she wouldn't change them for the world.

* * *

**Thanks for reading girls (and boys?) - reviews are muchly appreciated :)**


End file.
